Sadly, this will be our last newsletter. The Earth is going away.
I have it on good authority (rhymes with ‘ikipedia’) that the end of the world is coming – sooner than you might think. December 21st, 2012 is THE day.
That’s it. Finito. The Mayans said so. Sort of. Not really. It’s all over the news and the Internet, so I’m pretty sure it’s happening.
On December 22nd I’m fairly certain that our network, servers, and everything else that lives within our offices and datacenters will still be there.
But what good is the Internet if nobody’s around to use it?
I, for one, am making preparations by doing everything I’ve always wanted to do!
I started by selling everything I own.
As of about a week ago, I’ve stopped wearing clothes.
I’m trying one new illegal drug a day for the rest of my life.
I’m devoting all of my free time to the creation of horrendous art.
I’ve discovered a newfound appreciation for fire, low-grade pyrotechnics, and things that glow.
I’ve got piercings in my earlobes that are so big you can see right through them!
I’ve attempted to barter for goods and services with bottled water, alcohol, and sex. (Key word – attempted.)
I’ve learned to juggle fire and swallow swords.
Wait a minute…
The Mayans didn’t predict the end of the world.
They predicted Burning Man!
I…have to make some phone calls.
Also, does anyone know how long salvia lasts?